Not a Review: So I Guess I Can Take This As No Hard Feelings?

In the past week, I have managed to write completely vicious reviews of the new music videos from Justin Timberlake - which I still strongly dislike - and Avril Lavigne - which, so help me, I kind of love right now.

So, there are three possibilities in play for this screen capture from my Myspace:


1) Justin Timberlake and Avril Lavigne have personally acknowledged that I was correct and will give out public apologizes live on American Idol tomorrow night.

2) JtotheT and The Mother [expletive deleted] Princess have a great sense of humor and impeccable taste, meaning they love my blog.

3) Those interns working the Myspace page need to look a little closer into who they let join as the friends of JT and AV. Seriously, letting a no class kinda guy like me into their friend circle only brings them down farther than their own lack of musical credibility does already.

So, I guess what this boils down to is: be like the cool kids. Friend me on Myspace.

Review: Avril Lavigne's new video "Girlfriend"

Ladies and Gentleman, I introduce to you, the long awaited follow-up to critically acclaimed album Under My Skin, from the punk rocker that brought you such hits as "Complicated", "Sk8r Boi", and "My Happy Ending", former nominee for Best New Artist at the Grammy Awards, Mrs. Avril Lavigne with her soon to be Kids Choice Awards winning Music Video: "Girlfriend"



Words cannot describe the pure artistic genius of this video.

For starters, that no talent ho Christina Aguilera TOTALLY stole Avril's whole Vanilla, Srawberry, Chocolate hair and choreography concept for her Candyman video, but really, who wouldn't?

Second, that song is SO smart, like "Sk8r Boi", but fortunately, all the on-tour tutoring corrected Avril's prior spelling errors and taught her that linguistic shortcuts are no way to build a career.

Third, Mariah must be steaming that Avril borrowed her video concept from "Heartbreaker" and made it award worthy.

Fourth, if Perez loves it, then it must be good.

Fifth, if you believe a single word I wrote in this post, you, my friend, need to revisit sarcastic snarking 101 and then come back to this site.

Sixth: I still have not posted my totally ground breaking, award worthy, artistic, creative, wonderful surprise post for today, and I genuinely hope to have it up by midnight. Hallelujah Hollaback, bitches. I'll eat your food.

Sorry, I started to think of The White Rapper Project for a second there. Fake as it is, it really is funny to laugh at the stupidity and lack of talent among the contestants.

And just so everyone hates me after this: Yankees suck, Scorsese sucks, ScarJo Sucks, Obama Sucks, JayZ sucks, TV sucks, Earth Sucks, and Your Mama sucks.

PS: Did you go back and review your snark manual for that last part? I sure hope so.

PPS: I still will hold out judgment on Avril's album "The Best Thing" because I really believe this girl is talented. But if all the songs are like this, she really should just stick with writing songs for Kelly Clarkson and other Idol alums.