Review: Masters of Horror Episode "Sick Girl" by Lucky McKee

Hmm...I don't think I've previously mentioned my obsession with the work of director/screenwriter/actor Lucky McKee yet. One, I know his cousin, and thanks to knowing his film May, did very well in a forensics tournament once upon a time. Two, May is one of the best horror films of the last ten years, deftly combining black humor, wonderful realistic characters, and a twisted concept to a simultaneously sympathetic and horrifying conclusion. Three, he got screwed over big time with his film The Woods, once thought to be strong enough to demand that M. Night Shymalan rename his then titled The Woods to The Village, only to shelve the film for the better part of, about, two years and then release it straight to DVD, stripping it of all special features the week before it's release and it's still better than most of the crap films out there. Four, he stepped in at the last minute to direct what is still my favorite episode of Showtime's Masters of Horror series Sick Girl.

Sick Girl tells the story of entomologist Ida Teeter (the always wonderful and lovely Angela Bettis) who receives a strange specimen from a professor in Brazil. She eventually has Misty Falls (horror queen Misty Mundane, aka Erin Brown as credited here), a talented young artist, move in to her apartment, and all hell breaks lose.

A twisted horror comedy (what else) of a lesbian romance turned wrong at every step, the dialogue will have you laugh till you cry, while the practical effects and gore will have you cringe. The screenplay is intelligent, witty, and utterly disturbing, and McKee shows off his ability to pull out fantastic performances from his actors through understanding and collaboration that has endeared him to repeat contributors, like Angela Bettis. The true break out performer in this is Erin Brown, who is known in some circles more for her sex appeal than her acting ability. Erin fills Misty Falls with a sort of vulnerability and innocence that truly makes her turn for the worse all the more effective. Plus, she was very kind to me when I met her last year and even signed an autograph for my brother's friend who kind of has a huge crush on her (well, her work anyway).

If you are on the fence about which episode of Masters of Horror to pick up, I would personally say there are two strong choices. If you want straight horror with only a bit of dark humor, go with Cigarette Burns from John Carpenter. If you want dark humor with a nice bit of horror, go with Sick Girl.



Oh yeah, it also has Patricia Clarkson, another repeat contributor to the work of McKee. Told you he's popular.

Review: Shear Genius

I'll get it right out of the way: this show is incredible. It is filled with some of the most ridiculous characters to ever appear on reality TV, including one entertaining fellow who goes by the name Dr. Boogie (I'm not kidding). My favorite contestant, Paul-Jean (aka pretencious may or may not be from the south of France judging by the accuracy of his English grammar but was so damn cocky, confident, and charming you couldn't help but fall in love with him (oh, did I mention he was a foreign person on a Bravo Reality show? That never works out too well)) was already kicked off for subjecting a poor girl to this monstrosity, but what do you expect when the contestants are literally told to go shop in Michaels Arts and Crafts store and make hair art? It's just a shame that they did not cast a weavologist this season, but maybe Saphyrii (from Flavor of Love 2 and Charm School) or Top Model's Kathleen (of the fierce piece) can be on next season. That would be good TV.

Basically, it's a very effective blend of Project Runway (with weekly, I kid you not, Hair Shows, and the finale being an extravagant hair show battle the likes of which I haven't seen since Mo'Nique's Hair Show (sadly, I cannot find a video clip online, but if you flip to BET often enough you might catch it (might, as in you will) between airings of Soul Food)) and Top Chef (every week a Short Cut (nice pun, lots of nice puns on this show) challenge will determine order selection for models and pecking rank among the designers). The best part: Jaclyn Smith, of Charlie's Angels and her own line of clothing a K-Mart fame, is inexplicably the host. And she looks simultaneously incredible and awful, thanks to some alleged plastic surgery.

The best part: this guy on the left thinks he's Sweeney Todd. I just wish I could find a photo of him on elimination day.

Review: Bam's Unholy Union

All right, sorry for the late posting. Even though I have officially been on spring break for over 24 hours now, I have done more work in the past 24 hours than I have the past three years at my school. Thanks to my ridiculous over achieving ways in high school, my mother - who works in the school system - will forever be entangled in the going ons of my high school's drama club (former Thespian Society President here and star of every damn show ever while I was in school, as well as acting stage manager, costume designer, set builder, lobby displayer, graphic designer, programs, tickets, flyers, promotion, advertising, fundraising, choreographer, assistant director, lighting, sound, effects, and that was just the last show I did). This year, they are staging Disney's High School: The Musical, and right now I need to save the off-stage events from complete distruction. Go Wildcats! Woot.

Trent Sketch Safety Tip: Avoid the movie like the plague people. Run! Run! Run for your lives!

On with the reviews.

I hate Jackass. I hate Wildboys. I hate the new Celebrity Death Match. I hate the new Road Rules. And I hate Viva la Bam. Why? Because they are utterly stupid displays of ridiculous stunts that many people I know are dumb enough to repeat in person. There is no redeeming quality to any of this drivel.

So how can I hate that and inexplicably love Bam's Unholy Union? Simple: I love drama. The stupid stunts are balanced out with pure bitchiness from Bam's wife Missy and his entertaining mother April, and Bam actually gets stopped from doing the worst of his work. If he does go through with something that would make Jesus cry, Missy makes him pay for it any way she can. And best of all: unlike the other marriage reality shows on MTV (Newlyweds, Till Death Do Us Part, and that unwatchable Travis Barker/Hooker Wife show), Missy and Bam are very clearly in love. It's no reality sham for money, there is actual chemistry here that makes it seem like Bam may actually be a human being and not just a worthless meat puppet also-ran skateboarder.

Hopefully, for once (please?), MTV won't destroy every ounce of goodwill I have towards a show by running into the ground with way too many seasons that try to recreate what was enjoyable about the first (cough Real World cough).

Review: American Idol

Ok, this isn't going to be a big review.

I've been a contestant on Idol not once but twice. And I'm not saying that just because I showed up to the open call. I'm saying it because I legitimately have made it past the open call and much farther into the competition twice, only to be removed twice not by the judges but the producers. No, I didn't break any rules. I can't disclose the reasoning (darn contracts), but I will say that it was a disagreement over proceedings.

Anyway, this season, so far, is awful. The pimping of contestants has never been more obvious. Why 19 Entertainment somehow thinks that one trick ponies like Sundance Head can be legitimate superstars I'll never figure out.

There is only one beacon of hope in the contest, and that is Leslie Hunt. Unfortunately, her style - a lovely hybrid of folk and soul - does not bode well for her in the contest.

I will say that as of tonight, Paula Abdul has shown herself to be the most entertaining aspect of this dredge of a show now. When she's lucid, her criticism is fitting, appropriate, and shows the full breadth of knowledge that she possesses from her years in the industry; when she's not, her "spirit" "dances" with all the "colors" of the "rainbow". Straight up, it's always a touch down.

I do want this show to be a huge success, so more artists like Leslie Hunt (or my girl April Walsh) can use this show as a high point on their resume. Fortunately for performers, many casting directors a) do not know how big a joke this show actually is, and b) don't watch the show closely enough so people can blatantly lie about how well they did on the show even if they never so much as auditioned.

I'll leave you with my girl April Walsh rockin' out on Bjork. The fact that a girl with this kind of voice, personality, and taste did NOT make the semi's validates this post.

Review: The Amazing Race - All Stars

In case you haven't noticed by now, I am a reality TV junkie. I'll take my fix anyway I can get it, so what better way to spend a Sunday evening than to watch the premiere of The Amazing Race - All Stars?

For starters, my favorite race team of all time is competing: Charla and Mirna. Yes, Mirna's voice can shatter glass with her screams of "hurry Charla, muy rapido Charla" and Charla has to carry the team through every task, but by golly they knew how to race. Plus, it appears this time around that Charla AND Mirna will be participating in the road blocks and detours, not just Charla.

So 11 teams are competing, ranging anywhere from The Guidos of Season 1, to notoriously lucky Uchenna and Joyce from that season where I didn't really like any teams after the first few weeks. There is even a new superteam: an Alpha male from an Alpha male team and a pretty blond girl from a pretty blond girl team. I don't know who they are or why I should like them, but they're the only new team on the race. Also, Romber, of winning only one of (now) six reality shows they have appeared on together, and their one win (Amber on Survivor - All Stars) was by default, since they somehow managed to be the final 2. It will be great to see them lose again.

Here's all you need to know about this season: it's not the Family Edition; therefore, it's a good show again. The end.

Oh, and Phil is the best working host in reality TV.

The actual best host: award winning news reporter Anderson Cooper for his wonderful work on the painfully short lived US version of The Mole. The best part: playing along at home to try and find and decipher the hidden clues that reveal who is The Mole. The second best part: Kathy Griffen in a bathing suit comparing herself to the School Marm in a soft-core porn film set in a sorority (note: season does not include Phil, was first All Stars and featured a Baldwin, a supermodel, and a whole slew of B-List and worse celebrities). The third best part: Silly Silly costumes. And the fourth: burning everyone's possessions for failing an early mission. Did I mention Anderson Cooper? He made that show work. If it started now with him as the host, it would last much longer than two real seasons, the second of which was bumped back to a midsummer replacement after airing the first four episodes at the start of sweeps month. Good times. Good times.