Review (woo!): Grindhouse

I promised you I'd be back, and here I am, reviewing the single most entertaining film I've seen in years.

Let me start with a simple fact: Grindhouse isn't exactly going to be walking away with any Academy Awards (though the argument could easily be made for make-up, and when the Weinsteins release Planet Terror and Death Proof as seperate full length feature films later this year, Death Proof could conceivably be a contender for original screenplay), but it is so much fun.

A common misconception is that Grindhouse is a sleazy horror film. That's simply not true. It's also a side splitting comedy with strong female empowerment motifs.

Let's just go in order:

Machete Trailor: thank goodness Robert Rodriguez is actually making this twisted revenge film, since Machete's trailor is one of the greatest ever made. A Mexican day laborer, nicknamed machete, is hired to execute a high power assasination, only he has been set up by enemies and almost loses his life. He swears revenge on all those who betrayed him. Wonderful way to start the film.

Planet Terror: sick, twisted, over the top zombie-esque fun (though the creatures aren't zombies). Rose McGowan is phenomenal as Cherry, a stripper who wants nothing more than to be a stand-up comedian, even though she isn't very funny. Cherry and other citizens of Texas band together in an effort to save their lives against flesh hungry humans covered in disusting boils and wounds that ooze green slime. As disgusting and horrific as it is, this is one of the most effective comedy films I have ever seen and perfectly captures that late 1970's early 1980's splatterfest vibe while updating it to relevancy in 2007. Kudos, Mr. Rodriguez. All is forgiven for The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D.

More Trailors (I believe this is the proper order):

Werewolf Women of the S.S.: If you know anything about Nazi-sploitation films, then you realize that Rob Zombie nailed the over the top cheese and sex factor of these films with his hillarious take on the sub genre. My favorite of the fake trailors.

Don't: Simon Pegg is a genius. Don't is a perfect spoof of the hard hitting advertising for 1970's British Gothic Horror films that wind up coming off as comedies rather than horror films. This would legitimately be a very disturbing horror film.

Thanksgiving: Eli Roth's slasher film trailor, and I wasn't that impressed. It was just as misogynistic as all his other work combined and seemed like a pointless slasher. Perfect score for nailing the 1980's horror film, poor score for taste (surprise!).

Death Proof: Holy shit is this a good fucking film. Slow and deliberate, the story follows two groups of young women who face the misfortune of going one on one with an amazing Kurt Russel as Stuntman Mike. Rose McGowan once again impresses here, but the film is stolen by stunt woman Zoe Bell playing herself on screen. An effortless performance that requires a whole lot more effort than you would imagine for one of the greatest stunt sequences ever.

The film is worth seeing before the Weinstein's hack it apart and put it back together as seperate features. The experience is more than worth the 3+ hour running time.

Special Feature: The 2006 Sketchy's for Achievement in Film

In honor of the Academy Awards tomorrow night, I will be hosting my official film awards show live, right now, on my blog.

Introducing The 2006 Sketchy's for Achievement in Film

This is no weak little awards ceremony with five nominees and endless categories. We dive right into the nitty gritty here with Gold, Silver, and Bronze awards in a few succinct categories that cover the full spectrum of films released on 2006. And yes, there will be spoilers.

Our first category is Best Performance in a Feature Film

Bronze - Ellen Page in Hard Candy: Ellen Page provides a tour-de-fore performance unmatched by anyone in her age range in the horribly underrated Hard Candy.

Silver - Doug Jones in Pan's Labyrinth: It's hard enough to act in a horror film and do a good job. Doug Jones gives not one but two of the strongest performances of the year in film in the dual roles of Pan and the Pale Man in the twisted masterpiece Pan's Labyrinth. Chilling work.

Gold - Jackie Earle Hayley in Little Children: Jackie Earle Hayley gives an iconic performance as a pedophile who wants nothing more than to please his mother in Little Children that will love on as one of the greats in cinematic history. Every single frame he's in oozes the pain, frustration, and dementia of this character. This is what acting is supposed to be.

Our next category is Scariest Scene in a Film

Bronze - Mama's Dead in Little Children: When Jackie Earle Hayley's character becomes completely unhinged upon the death of his mother, you know all hell will break loose. I don't know what I was more afraid of: what he might do to someone else or what he might do to himself.

Silver - Pale Man in Pan's Labyrinth: This is the scariest sequence in a truly horrifying film. From the blood colored walls to the eyeballs in the hand and hanging skin, this scene will be appearing in my nightmares for years.

Gold - The Palace Gates in The Queen: I know what your thinking: Trent Sketch, how the hell is that scary? You know nothing happens to her because this film is based on recent history and the Queen is still alive. Yes, yes she is. But that doesn't remove the tension, apprehension, and fear that Helen Mirren displays in addressing the silent crowd that hates her more than the paparazzi that chased down Princess Diana. Sometimes, implied horror and hatred is scarier than all the psychopathic killers you can lock up in a mental hospital.

Our next category is Funniest Scene in a Film:

Bronze - Borat Opening: Welcome to Kazakhstan indeed.

Silver - Meeting the Prom King in Little Children: This is the funniest sequence of the film, and the look of shock on those soccer mom's faces is priceless.

Gold - Meeting the New Prime Minister: This scene embodies the humor of The Queen and the approach to the subject matter: mocking the customs, not the people. That is why the film was so successful.

Our next category is Best Artistic Achievement in Technical Filmmaking

Bronze (Tie) - The Visual Effects Team of Perfume: The Story of a Murderer: This film had the single most convincing scene of CGI I have ever seen in a film: a handkerchief floating in the wind. Breathtaking and worthy of a spot on a digital gallery wall.

Bronze (tie) - Costume Design by Chung Man Yee in The Curse of the Golden Flower: Just Look At These Costumes. They look even better in motion.

Silver: Javier Navarrete's Scoring for Pan's Labyrinth - The single most haunting score of the year and probably one of the greatest ever composed for film.

Gold - Sound Department of Pan's Labyrinth: The most impressive aspect of this film is the sound design. It is pure perfection. Everything comes to life because you become surrounded in the fantasy world by the sound. Everything else just adds to it.

Our next category is Best Direction of a Film

Bronze - Guillermo del Toro for Pan's Labyrinth: His vision is so perfectly executed, his story so masterfully told, you have to give the man a lot of credit.

Silver - Stephen Frears for The Queen: This film could have easily been a total joke. Frears steers the film away from self parody and into an enjoyable drama that casts one of the most publicized deaths in history in an entirely new light.

Gold - Paul Greengrass for United 93: This is what direction should be. As World Trade Center showed, not just anybody can take on 9/11 and do it in a respectful and intelligent manner. Paul Greengrass is a filmmaker to watch for in the future.

Our final category is Best Achievement in Film

Bronze - Hard Candy


Silver - The Queen


Gold - Pan's Labyrinth


That's it for the 2006 Sketchy's for Achievement in Film

Review: Film Short "The Deader the Better" by James Rolfe

The first thing many would ask when they see the title of this review is "Who is James Rolfe?"

Well, the YouTube fanatics in the crowd might recognize him by his popular, foul-mouthed alter ego: The Angry Nintendo Nerd.

So then the next question is pretty obvious, too: Why would you review a film from that Angry Nintendo Nerd guy? All he does is drink, curse, and ramble on about video games.

The answer is obvious when you watch his short films: James Rolfe is actually a talented filmmaker.

The Deader the Better is a short horror/comedy about two guys - Lloyd and Earl - who work the night shift at a graveyard. There job: keep the dead dead. In this one cemetery, the dead have a bad habit of coming back to life, and it's Lloyd's job to stop them by any means necessary; Earl doesn't approve of Lloyd's messy execution since it's his job to clean the graveyard back up so no one knows what happens when darkness falls. It's a strange concept, but it works surprisingly well.

The best aspect of the film is the technical film making. As evidenced by James Rolfe's work on The Angry Nintendo Nerd, he knows how to properly frame a shot, edit footage, and piece everything together so that the audience is never bored. It's solid, creative film work and his efforts certainly pay off with this short.

What's so great about the technicals? The use of color. The short, shot in black and white, only incorporates one color during the graveyard sequences: red. Whenever there is blood, you will know it. Also great? The gore. I am a firm believer that there is nothing a computer can do for traditional gore that cannot be accomplished better with practical effects, and this short proves both points at once. The practical effects are perfectly convincing, while the digitally enhanced scene - however necessary for maintaining the tone and style of the short - do work, but are not as convincing as the practical effects.

I guess all I'm trying to say is this: "The Deader the Better" is a pretty impressive short that shows illustrates James Rolfe's potential to really make something truly great.

Review: Little Children, the film

Ahh, much better.

After a disastrous morning, which included the horror of Justin Timberlake's new video, a bus ride that took twice as long as it should have to get back into NYC, and motion sickness caused by aforementioned bus ride, I decided that I deserved a treat for my mind. Thanks, student discount ticket day!

Little Children is a story about regrets. Sarah Pierce, played by a never better Kate Winslet, is a married anthropologist/author who gave up her career to raise her daughter. Brad Adamson, Patrick Wilson - also incredible - is a stay at home dad who is going to try for his third and last time to pass the Bar Exam to appease his wife Kathy Adamson, Jennifer Connelly giving a performance that had me questioning who that actress was until I saw the credits and went "of course". Their small community is turned upside down when convicted sex offender Ronnie J. McGovery, the single best male performance of 2006 provided by Jackie Earle Hayley, moves in. There are plenty of other characters who weave in and out, but Sarah, Brad, and Ronnie really drive the film.

I truly do not want to provide many details about the plot because part of the joy and challenge of this film is just not knowing what will happen. Every character has something they desire that is just slightly out of reach, and they will all stop at nothing to achieve it.

Perhaps the most surprising aspect of the film is the narration. Not once did the voice overs distract from what was happening on screen. That is a very difficult task and director Todd Field completed it with flying colors.

I believe it's safe to say that viewers should be forewarned: this is not an easy film to take in. A lot of taboo subjects, even for film, are discussed in this work, and the ending of the film does not tie everything up into a pretty little package. I can say, however, if Little Children is not a happy film, it certainly is a hopeful film with a lot to say.