Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Review: Apple Raisin Betty, a "Recipe" from Sandra Lee (actual review forthcoming)

I cannot believe that I have yet to mention the absolute bane of my TV cooking show addicted existence on this blog yet. Sandra Lee, of the Semi-Homemade Cooking show on Food Network. Why this harpy has a career I will never know (well, I'm pretty sure it had something to do with big dinnert, desert, and something to do with pixie stix), but she has provided me and my fellow shrikes with countless hours of entertainment at her loony expense. I mean, how am I supposed to respect a cook who does this for Christmas? TrentSketch Safety Tip: please do not watch this while drinking. Your computer doesn't enjoy being sprayed with a refreshing beverage. Also, make sure that beverage is not a "Cucktail" from SLop. The sad thing is, THAT is an example of LUCID Snandra Lee. You should hear her talk about that time she was "literally vertical" on a carnival ride. It's a hoot and a half.

Anyway, this woman is an abomination, a lush, and a complete and total waste of oxygen.

Later today, I will be posting a video of me assembling (she doesn't give recipes, she gives construction guidelines) one of the most vile ideas she had this past week (it's too early to see how it will stack against the Kwanzaa Cake and plenty of other culturally and aesthetically insulting entries in this series).

Apple Raisin Betty:
Butter flavored cooking spray
2 (21-ounce) cans apple pie filling (recommended: Comstock)
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3 packets instant oatmeal with raisins and spice, divided (recommended: Quaker Oats)
6 tablespoons butter, divided

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Spray a 9 by 13-inch casserole dish with butter flavored cooking spray.

Spread the apple pie filling in the bottom of the casserole dish. Sprinkle with the cinnamon and 1 1/2 packets of oatmeal. Dot with half the butter. Repeat with remaining ingredients.

Cover with foil and bake for about 1 hour. Remove from oven and let sit for 5 minutes before serving.

MMmhhh....hopefully I can still stand after making this. I may need to hit up my own cocktail time and when I start drinking THIS early, it's never pretty.

Until later, I leave you with this:

Well, she certainly is a tramp...

Well, that sucks. My computer malfunctioned, I lost all the video footage, and I do NOT have enough money or a strong enough stomach to do it all again.

Here are some highlight photos that show how crazy this nitwit can make me act. And for the first time ever, SandyLooWho actually made me sick with her cuisine. It was bound to happen folks.

Varb For Me