New content tomorrow

Sorry or lack of update. I only left my apartment for an exam and have been sleeping since. I'll try to get new stuff up tomorrow.

No Reviews Today

I'm sick. Like, can't get out of bed for fear that I won't make it back to the bed sick. Not even a free ticket to go see Black Snake Moan from a friend was enough to get me out.

Vlog of the week canceled. I'll make it up with the next one. Tons more typed reviews tomorrow for things that would have appeared in that one.

Sorrys.

Review...Tomorrow: Norbit

Sorry about not being as creative as usual this weekend. I was visiting my family for the weekend and just couldn't get them to leave me alone enough for me to dedicate hours upon hours to sitting on my ass and coming up with witticisms to the soundtrack of Diet Coke, Pop Tarts (mmmm....frozen pop tarts - damn you Idol!, story for another day), and my roommates talking shit about me without realizing I'm in my bedroom - classy.

Anyway, I haven't even had the time to set up my laptop in the basement this entire weekend, so I don't have access to all of my media and everything, meaning the weekly Vlog will be coming tomorrow, and oh what a treat it will be.

For starters, I will actually talk this time. I hope it doesn't drive anyone to suicide.

Second, I will be tackling my most anticipated tear it apart film of the year thus far: Norbit.

Finally, there will be surprises, possibly based around the world of Top Model. And original music. And my face that possesses a beauty America may not understand, but the world of high fashion would love.

Dear Tyra:
Thank you for providing an accurate phrase to describe someone that is not entirely handsome, pretty, ugly, fugly, or hideous, but falls somewhere in between - kind of like a nice Picasso; if nothing else, you have given me this gift.

This is going to be fun. Now where'd I put my combat boots and fake Frat t-shirt...it's time for me to go steppin'!

Review: Reno 911: Miami

Thanks to some connections I have, I was able to get a free pass to the CMJ music festival last Fall and it was one of the best experiences of my life. This is where I was able to learn about Bodog Music (you really can't go wrong with their roster, plus Bif Naked works with them, and she is awesome) and see a screening of Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (I'll add a review of that eventually, here's a preview: easily one of the best films of 2006 and incredibly moving).

One of the unannounced events I wound up attending was a midnight screening of Reno 911: Miami and I wound up being kind of underwhelmed. It just felt awkward: the editing was strange, there were some really unfunny bits, and some dialogue was just lost due to quality.

So I was pleasantly surprised when I took my brother to the movies today and saw this again. The film, based on the hit show, has the Reno 911 Sheriff Department invited to Miami for a police convention, only to be denied entrance, which turns out to be a blessing when the Reno 911 officers are the only police who can still work in the city. All of the regulars are there plus some of the best of the other featured actors (including Dave Holmes, aka former MTV VJ and host of Say Whay? Karaoke who famously lost Wanna Be a VJ to Jesse Camp).

The film is a thousand times better than when I saw it. It has been mercifully edited down by at least 15 minutes, entire scenes appear to have been re-shot, dialogue was dubbed over, and many unnecessary scenes were replaced with comedy gold. If you've seen the show, you know what you're getting into.

For those who haven't: there will be a whole series of vignettes with different combinations of officers in a Cops styled show travelling around Miami in various hilarious situations.

All I can say is this film should not disappoint the fans, now that it has been edited to actually be a film.

Review: Mark Twang

Ok, I am not going to sugar coat this. I cried a lot on Thursday night because of American Idol. Quite possibly, as far as I'm concerned, the only actual musician who ever made the semifinals (a few had come close before, but were cut just short of making it) Leslie Hunt was sent home. Considering the love-hate thing I had (past tense, people) going on with my on again/off again reality TV viewing relationship with American Idol (we had been on rocky grounds since that whole Frenchie Davis bs - people, she told them about the photos, they knew they existed, they just did not want her on the show, and frankly - she's better off), Leslie was the one thing that kept me tied to this season at all. My back-up contestant, AJ, was also sent home, and he was the only guy that was even close to being record contract ready on the show.

So where does that leave us? I'm seriously (for true this time) not watching Idol for the rest of the season. I will most definitely never audition again for the show (not that Nigel would ever let me get TV time, 0 in 2 there, heh). And, I probably won't tune in ever again, depending on how poorly they treat the contestants this season. However, if they do get the songwriting contest together (recap: AI is allegedly holding a contest for an undiscovered songwriter to write the winner's first single, but they are still hammering out the kinks six months after the announcement) I will enter that, because I know I can write a pretty kick-ass song about unicorns, puppies, rainbows, and reaching for the stars.

And what does all of this have to do with this review? Mark Twang is Leslie Hunt's band, and they kick major ass. Check out the Myspace to hear what I'm judging them on. Every song is a great mix of folk and jazz, the perfect showcase for Leslie's bluesy alto. I'm personally a fan of the song 4 Blond Bitches, but that might just because the band named a song 4 Blond Bitches. The music is awesome, and I'm hoping Leslie can use the one possible advantage of AI - TV Time - to get a nice distribution deal for Mark Twang so they can start touring nation wide. I know I want to see them live, where I will wear my "America Don't Care for Jazz" t-shirt and smile the whole time like a total goofball - not that I've ever done that before (shut-up, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, you don't even know who I am, how dare you judge me for smiling like a total goofball and being the most awkwardly white person in the world trying to groove to your music last spring, not cool Karen O, not cool - still love you, though).

What do you mean you found my AI concert tickets, board game, DVD, video game, other video game, that other video game, and home made Idol merchandise in the trash can outside my house?

No comment.

Check out Leslie:

Bitch is out of her damn mind, and I lover her for it.

Call me!