Review: Masters of Horror Episode "Sick Girl" by Lucky McKee

Hmm...I don't think I've previously mentioned my obsession with the work of director/screenwriter/actor Lucky McKee yet. One, I know his cousin, and thanks to knowing his film May, did very well in a forensics tournament once upon a time. Two, May is one of the best horror films of the last ten years, deftly combining black humor, wonderful realistic characters, and a twisted concept to a simultaneously sympathetic and horrifying conclusion. Three, he got screwed over big time with his film The Woods, once thought to be strong enough to demand that M. Night Shymalan rename his then titled The Woods to The Village, only to shelve the film for the better part of, about, two years and then release it straight to DVD, stripping it of all special features the week before it's release and it's still better than most of the crap films out there. Four, he stepped in at the last minute to direct what is still my favorite episode of Showtime's Masters of Horror series Sick Girl.

Sick Girl tells the story of entomologist Ida Teeter (the always wonderful and lovely Angela Bettis) who receives a strange specimen from a professor in Brazil. She eventually has Misty Falls (horror queen Misty Mundane, aka Erin Brown as credited here), a talented young artist, move in to her apartment, and all hell breaks lose.

A twisted horror comedy (what else) of a lesbian romance turned wrong at every step, the dialogue will have you laugh till you cry, while the practical effects and gore will have you cringe. The screenplay is intelligent, witty, and utterly disturbing, and McKee shows off his ability to pull out fantastic performances from his actors through understanding and collaboration that has endeared him to repeat contributors, like Angela Bettis. The true break out performer in this is Erin Brown, who is known in some circles more for her sex appeal than her acting ability. Erin fills Misty Falls with a sort of vulnerability and innocence that truly makes her turn for the worse all the more effective. Plus, she was very kind to me when I met her last year and even signed an autograph for my brother's friend who kind of has a huge crush on her (well, her work anyway).

If you are on the fence about which episode of Masters of Horror to pick up, I would personally say there are two strong choices. If you want straight horror with only a bit of dark humor, go with Cigarette Burns from John Carpenter. If you want dark humor with a nice bit of horror, go with Sick Girl.



Oh yeah, it also has Patricia Clarkson, another repeat contributor to the work of McKee. Told you he's popular.

Review: Music Video Bjork "Earth Intruders"

So today was spent making more inventory for my ever expanding online shop through etsy (clicky clicky), and I am exhausted. My sewing/crafting/art station is set up like a workbench, meaning no chair to sit at while sewing/crafting/art-ing, meaning I stand up the whole time, meaning I was on my feet for six+ hours today since I refuse to use a pattern for anything I work on. Takes out a huge portion of the creativity and personality of the work. I would rather free form a design that I'm proud of than create cookie cutter perfect inventory for a website that claims to sell handmade work any day.

So, sorry for posting ANOTHER Bjork review, but the video was leaked today and it is beyond awesome.

Imagine, if you will, that wonderful sequence in Disney's Fantasia where all the pilgrims are travelling along the forest and hills during the Ava Maria. Take that style of overlayed animation, only execute it with dancers in costuming that wouldn't be out of place in Disney's Animal Kingdom. Now turn that into a 2-D cut out shadowbox style animation over an ever changing background. Make sure the choreography follows not the rhythm of the song, but the patterns and movements of the backing instruments. Now, add in Bjork's gigantic head as the face of the Earth, some lasers destroying the immediate environment, and Bjork's crazy music and you have some very bizarre, yet wonderfully delightful art.

Suddenly, I have a strange urge to see Bjork direct Disney's The Lion King.

Review: Music Video "Lip Gloss" by Lil Mama

Gather round, my children, and let me tell you a tale.

Seriously, I feel like I would be betraying ya'll's trust if I did not let you know at the onset about what will surely blow up to be the huge novelty jam of summer 2007.

Meet Lil Mama: a sassy tone deaf rapper with an affinity for over the top choreographed "retarded" (I seriously remember an MTV news segment on a whole lot of teenagers who liked to get retarded, meaning dance around like damn fools in some weird amalgam of hip hop, krump, demonic possession-like movements, and straight up stupidity) dancing. She will never have another hit song on her own again, so she better stretch what little fame she will achieve and save her dollars for the good stuff (MAC cosmetics at Macy's...duh).

In a video that seemed more fit to be a plot point (or wrap up point) in a Christopher Guest movie, our protagonist is dropped off at school by her mother, only to be given a last minute gift: a silver bracelet/locket filled with magically, poppin lip gloss that makes everyone want to be her friend. As she merrily dances her way through the school day, Lil Mama picks up more and more friends until she has to admit in the end to her mother that that lip gloss really is poppin.

It's as awful as it sounds: enjoy.

Review: Nine Inch Nails "Year Zero"

I've mentioned my unwavering love of all things crazy and Bjork on this thread before, but I think Trent Reznor just one-upped her most successful musical experiment: Medulla.

No, the new Nine Inch Nails album "Year Zero" is not almost entirely ac capella (I wish, cause that would just be a dream), but it does try to push the boundaries of the music industry by taking apart the traditional thought process behind music and creating something that is both true to the earliest stages of music and completely out of this world/futuristic (take that Justin Timberlake).

The album is a sonic explosion of dissonance and loud electronic sequenced rock, and the overall feel and campaign of the record is incredible. Let me just pull up a quick screen grab of the flyer stuck to the back of the album to continue their year zero theme:


When Trent is in his full on sexy rocker mode, he made me contemplate whether or not I could ever love a man in that way (the track in question is Track 4, The Good Soldier, which is (not) surprisingly about sex). However, when the political discourse takes center stage (tracks 6-7 (Me, I'm Not and Capital G)), the album suffers. Me, I'm Not had an interesting enough production/arrangement behind it to be bearable, but Track 7 made me wish for the dulcet tones of Britney Spears "Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman Either", and I hate that song.

The best part of the album to me is the incredible campaign surrounding it, which is fully followed up with the environmentally friendly tri-fold paper based CD packaging, though the album does still contain a fully plastic (and harder to remove the disc from than usual) CD holder that kind of cancels out the environmental good will.

TrentSketch Safety Tip: Remove the CD booklet from the outside edge of the case, not the inside, otherwise you will rip and destroy your cardboard case.

Get this album. It's that good. Hopefully, the Grammys will reward NIN's efforts with an album of the year nomination (hey, they like the White Stripes, why not NIN). It's already guaranteed another victory in Alternative album (over Bjork...sigh, my girl just can't catch a break there).

Buy it. Now.

Review: Shear Genius

I'll get it right out of the way: this show is incredible. It is filled with some of the most ridiculous characters to ever appear on reality TV, including one entertaining fellow who goes by the name Dr. Boogie (I'm not kidding). My favorite contestant, Paul-Jean (aka pretencious may or may not be from the south of France judging by the accuracy of his English grammar but was so damn cocky, confident, and charming you couldn't help but fall in love with him (oh, did I mention he was a foreign person on a Bravo Reality show? That never works out too well)) was already kicked off for subjecting a poor girl to this monstrosity, but what do you expect when the contestants are literally told to go shop in Michaels Arts and Crafts store and make hair art? It's just a shame that they did not cast a weavologist this season, but maybe Saphyrii (from Flavor of Love 2 and Charm School) or Top Model's Kathleen (of the fierce piece) can be on next season. That would be good TV.

Basically, it's a very effective blend of Project Runway (with weekly, I kid you not, Hair Shows, and the finale being an extravagant hair show battle the likes of which I haven't seen since Mo'Nique's Hair Show (sadly, I cannot find a video clip online, but if you flip to BET often enough you might catch it (might, as in you will) between airings of Soul Food)) and Top Chef (every week a Short Cut (nice pun, lots of nice puns on this show) challenge will determine order selection for models and pecking rank among the designers). The best part: Jaclyn Smith, of Charlie's Angels and her own line of clothing a K-Mart fame, is inexplicably the host. And she looks simultaneously incredible and awful, thanks to some alleged plastic surgery.

The best part: this guy on the left thinks he's Sweeney Todd. I just wish I could find a photo of him on elimination day.

Review: Bjork "Earth Intruders"

I love Bjork. Let's get that out of the way right now. I don't think she's every released a bad track, and is one of the most talented and prolific artists of the last twenty years. I also believe that she wrote the single greatest pop song of all time with "Pagan Poetry". There is no one out there who is quite like this crazy Icelandic songstress.

So, when I heard that Timbaland, aka producer who destroyed what respect I once had for Nelly Furtado with a truly shitacular album aka producer who created some of the best beats ever, was producing her album, I weeped. As in I literally started crying and questioning why Bjork had forsaken me. I mean, I defended her for the darkest day in Olympic Opening Ceremony history: her live, but misguided, performance of the wonderful song Oceania. I have never seen athletes that confused and scared before in my life.

But no worries: the track is fantastic. It is the closest Bjork will ever come to doing a hot dance track, and I see this being the dubbed in song of choice for Season 3 of So You Think You Can Dance for anyone performing modern/jazz to a song they can't get the rights to. It's pure Bjork, but peppier, but just as crazy as you love her.

This isn't the real video, but it's the clearest audio I can find of the song. So enjoy a fan made video of Earth Intruders created with the classic game Ice Climbers.

Review (woo!): Grindhouse

I promised you I'd be back, and here I am, reviewing the single most entertaining film I've seen in years.

Let me start with a simple fact: Grindhouse isn't exactly going to be walking away with any Academy Awards (though the argument could easily be made for make-up, and when the Weinsteins release Planet Terror and Death Proof as seperate full length feature films later this year, Death Proof could conceivably be a contender for original screenplay), but it is so much fun.

A common misconception is that Grindhouse is a sleazy horror film. That's simply not true. It's also a side splitting comedy with strong female empowerment motifs.

Let's just go in order:

Machete Trailor: thank goodness Robert Rodriguez is actually making this twisted revenge film, since Machete's trailor is one of the greatest ever made. A Mexican day laborer, nicknamed machete, is hired to execute a high power assasination, only he has been set up by enemies and almost loses his life. He swears revenge on all those who betrayed him. Wonderful way to start the film.

Planet Terror: sick, twisted, over the top zombie-esque fun (though the creatures aren't zombies). Rose McGowan is phenomenal as Cherry, a stripper who wants nothing more than to be a stand-up comedian, even though she isn't very funny. Cherry and other citizens of Texas band together in an effort to save their lives against flesh hungry humans covered in disusting boils and wounds that ooze green slime. As disgusting and horrific as it is, this is one of the most effective comedy films I have ever seen and perfectly captures that late 1970's early 1980's splatterfest vibe while updating it to relevancy in 2007. Kudos, Mr. Rodriguez. All is forgiven for The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D.

More Trailors (I believe this is the proper order):

Werewolf Women of the S.S.: If you know anything about Nazi-sploitation films, then you realize that Rob Zombie nailed the over the top cheese and sex factor of these films with his hillarious take on the sub genre. My favorite of the fake trailors.

Don't: Simon Pegg is a genius. Don't is a perfect spoof of the hard hitting advertising for 1970's British Gothic Horror films that wind up coming off as comedies rather than horror films. This would legitimately be a very disturbing horror film.

Thanksgiving: Eli Roth's slasher film trailor, and I wasn't that impressed. It was just as misogynistic as all his other work combined and seemed like a pointless slasher. Perfect score for nailing the 1980's horror film, poor score for taste (surprise!).

Death Proof: Holy shit is this a good fucking film. Slow and deliberate, the story follows two groups of young women who face the misfortune of going one on one with an amazing Kurt Russel as Stuntman Mike. Rose McGowan once again impresses here, but the film is stolen by stunt woman Zoe Bell playing herself on screen. An effortless performance that requires a whole lot more effort than you would imagine for one of the greatest stunt sequences ever.

The film is worth seeing before the Weinstein's hack it apart and put it back together as seperate features. The experience is more than worth the 3+ hour running time.

Review: Jesus Camp (2006)

When I decided I was going to write a review of this film, I knew that it would be an uncomfortable challenge for me not to judge the people or views expressed in this film. I am going to focus on the actual film itself, but I most likely will have to dive into the content as well.

I also would like to express this now before I begin this review: while my blog is at times intentionally sarcastic and bitchy, it will not always have that tone. No one is a one dimensional person and while this Trent Sketch character may be dedicated to providing reviews of anything and everything the world of media has to offer, they will not all be written in the same tone, have the same style, and be seen as the same style of review. Sometimes, humor is the best way to express an idea, sometimes, anger, but always, it will depend on the context of the subject matter. A review of Norbit will not take the same approach as a review of a documentary about a significant political issue, and that is something that I will stand by with this blog until the day I stop writing in it. Nothing is as clear cut as always being an aggressive, insincere ass about other people's work, and truly - it is never my goal to come across that way. I know I cross the line (everyone does), but I really do want this to become a steady source of reviews that will entertain but also be a springboard for thought and discussion on media.

Disclaimer: unfortunately, Jesus Camp did not win any awards. It is, however, a very award-worthy film that has been recognized with glowing reviews and intelligent discussions that, for this kind of topic, is all the reward it needs. That is why it is being discussed on Award Winning Film day.

The Review:
Jesus Camp is the quite possibly the most talked about documentary of 2006. The documentary looks at the lives of three children, no older than 10 years old, attending famed Evangelical Christian Youth Minster Becky Fischer's week long religious sleep away camp. The goal: continue their service as soldier's of the Lord.

I believe this documentary is very suspect. It is my understanding that a documentary should ideally take an objective view of a non-fiction subject and craft it into a narrative of an idea (a political concept, historical event/figure, current events, religion, lives, competition - actual things that have happened/are happening/are believed to be happening/happened). However, this film subtly makes it strong biases known at the very start of the film. Instead of allowing viewers to come out with a conclusion based on their own understanding of the footage presented, directors Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady immediately cast judgement on the Evangelical Christians featured in the film, Becky Fischer in particular, by using a radio personality's rants on the destruction of our youth and America by Evangelical Christians as the intended voice of reason in the film. Sure, there is evidence presented to support this man's statements, but there is also evidence to go directly against it. The directors have attempted to portray the adults shown in this documentary as horrible human beings who brainwash their children into blindly believing extreme conservative political views under the mask of religion.

Do I agree with what anyone in this film is doing? Not entirely. My own belief (I'm a Catholic) is that people should be free to believe what they want to believe, but need to hold true to those beliefs and not compromise them. If you believe that the destruction of the environment is the most important issue in the world, don't just say that and do nothing: stand by it. How does this relate to the film? A lot.

I found this to be simply the most disturbing film I have ever viewed in my life, mostly because I have never experienced anything like this before. I have watched films filled with murder, rape, assault, harassment, violence, stalking, fights, blood, gore, sex, nudity, torture, and far worse: but those were concepts that I had been exposed to in some way (either in real life or, for most of it, through the news, television, radio, discussion, books). But I had no working knowledge of how Evangelical Christianity works, the belief structures, and the rabid dedication of its practitioners. Becky Fischer mentions that liberals are going to be shaken to their core by what they see in the footage, but I don't believe that is entirely accurate. Anyone who has not experienced this kind of passion towards religion will feel something from the footage. I've never experienced a child show such dedication to a cause that they start crying, and shaking, and calling out for what they believe in. It's disturbing because it's something that I had never seen before.

The documentary tries to make it seem like anyone who believes in this is wrong. Is a horrible human being. Is crazy. Is a danger to society. I'm not saying they are right, but I'm most certainly not going to say they are wrong either.

This type of power that comes with belief can be used for good (I believe Becky Fischer truly believes it is her duty to share her beliefs with young people, and all she is trying to do is awaken these beliefs in young people - even if her language tends to be extreme at times, and her choice of analogy ill-suited towards positive representation of her beliefs to non-Evangelicals: her heart is in the right place, and I can respect that), for manipulation (there were two other preachers featured in the film: one who taped shut the mouths of children to protest abortion and provide a medically inaccurate depiction of the development of the fetus in an effort to trick children into fighting his political fight, the other who talked about how Evangelicals are running America, and how great it is to wield that kind of power and control), or for self-advancing attacks (the radio announcer was using attacks against this type of Christian mindset to advance his own political and religious causes, not stand on his own beliefs but trample over someone else's for power).

As flawed and biased as the film is, it nonetheless makes a strong statement: something many films that follow traditional thoughts or practices fail to do in the slightest. If nothing else, you should try to watch Jesus Camp for the sake of exploring not just the subject matter at hand, or to see how this type of footage can be manipulated any way you like, but to question the nature of truth.

Review: Brokeback Mountain

I figure that, since I technically didn't post yesterday (oops), I might as well roll with the piss everyone off game and recreate my three reviews of the film Brokeback Mountain.

Let's go back, way back, to a simpler time, when I trusted in film critics and Hollywood Awards Hype to tell me what I should see and appreciate as groundbreaking independent cinema.

December 11, 2005:
I arrive at my favorite little chain movie house in NYC to an opening night screening of Brokeback Mountain. I hear it is one of the best films of the year, and quite possibly a film that will survive the ages as one of the truly great pieces of filmed art. I had read the novella before I even knew there would be a film adaptation and loved the tragic story and beautiful, sparse prose.

2 Hours and 14 Minutes Later:
That is the single worst film I have seen all year. My God, it makes Saw II look like Rosemary's Baby, and even I'll admit that the Saw franchise is mediocre at best (let's save that for another review...). It was 2 hours and 14 minutes of cloud porn, with an occasional beat down or gay sex scene. Anna Faris was incredible (of course she is, she is the single most underrated movie actress consistently working today: thanks Scary Movie franchise for simultaneously creating and destroying her career in one gloriously so-bad-it's-good farce), and that cloud porn sure was pretty, but NOTHING.HAPPENED. Nothing. Heath Ledger was strong, Jake Gylenhaal was just awful (just like in Donnie Darko - another review for another day), like I always knew he was. Michelle Williams was far better than the character she played and full well deserved the attention she received. But this was a film with more shots of clouds than plot, and truly, if it had been about a straight romance: it would have been critically panned for being an exercise in self-indulgent filmmaking.

2 Weeks Later:
Maybe I overreacted. It was opening night, I wasn't feeling my best, the theater was overcrowded, and I was tired. So, I'll go buy another ticket for Brokeback Mountain. Just in case, I'm bringing a magazine and sitting near the aisle.

2 Hours and 14 Minutes Later:
That was a great issue of ReadyMade Magazine: I have some great ideas for projects to do over break. Oh, the movie? God awful. That score is one of the most snore-inducing things I have ever heard, yet everyone talks about how brilliant it was. Jake Gylenhaal is a little better than I thought (on the scale of From Justin to Kelly acting, with Justin Guarini being the lowest and Anika Noni Rose being the highest, he falls into a firm Greg Siff - which for non-American Idol obsessists, is the equivalent of, say, David Arquette in Scream III: passable, not great, but good enough to barely create a realistic character and advance the story), while Heath Ledger is worse than I thought. The accent is great, as is the physical embodiment of the character - including not moving his jaw - but that's as far as it went. No real emotion (other than that great beat down scene at the fireworks I love so much: drunken rage rocks! woo!). Anna Faris and the rest of the female cast acted circles around the males, and that's fitting, considering they were in the only scenes that weren't just an excuse to shoot pornographic scenes of clouds slowly passing by a mountaintop. What the hell? Stop with the cloud porn! Does Ang Lee have a fetish or something, because this isn't his only film that likes to focus on clouds. I mean, Quentin Taratino has a thing for big ugly amazonian feet, but at least they aren't in every damn frame of his films. Jeez! Wake-up people: It's a bad movie.

Three Weeks Later:
Hmm...a whole lot of award recognition for Brokeback Mountain. Maybe I should give it one last go...

2 Hours and 14 Minutes Later:
Those poor clouds. Wait: did I really just spend 33 dollars in less than two months to rewatch a film that I absolutely hate in NYC? Fuck that. Brokeback Sucks.

March 5, 2006:
What do you mean this won for best score, adapted screenplay, and direction at the Oscars? Well, look on the bright side: how much worse could a Gustavo Santaololla score get?

November 10, 2006:
Gosh, Babel would have been such an amazing film if it wasn't for that awful score. So boring and repeti...oh, of course...it's that same guy that did Brokeback. Suddenly I appreciate that score so much better: at least it had more than one chord repeated over and over. Shoot, this score makes Notes on a Scandal sound like Mozart.

February 25, 2007:
WTF? They gave him Best Score AGAIN? Screw this, I'm going to the opera.

So you see class: God really does hate me.

Please feel free to comment with all your hate messages. I've taken far worse flack for far greater films than Brokeback Mountain.

I'd link to a Brokeback Mountain video, but I'm afraid it would eat away the rest of my soul.

Review: Bam's Unholy Union

All right, sorry for the late posting. Even though I have officially been on spring break for over 24 hours now, I have done more work in the past 24 hours than I have the past three years at my school. Thanks to my ridiculous over achieving ways in high school, my mother - who works in the school system - will forever be entangled in the going ons of my high school's drama club (former Thespian Society President here and star of every damn show ever while I was in school, as well as acting stage manager, costume designer, set builder, lobby displayer, graphic designer, programs, tickets, flyers, promotion, advertising, fundraising, choreographer, assistant director, lighting, sound, effects, and that was just the last show I did). This year, they are staging Disney's High School: The Musical, and right now I need to save the off-stage events from complete distruction. Go Wildcats! Woot.

Trent Sketch Safety Tip: Avoid the movie like the plague people. Run! Run! Run for your lives!

On with the reviews.

I hate Jackass. I hate Wildboys. I hate the new Celebrity Death Match. I hate the new Road Rules. And I hate Viva la Bam. Why? Because they are utterly stupid displays of ridiculous stunts that many people I know are dumb enough to repeat in person. There is no redeeming quality to any of this drivel.

So how can I hate that and inexplicably love Bam's Unholy Union? Simple: I love drama. The stupid stunts are balanced out with pure bitchiness from Bam's wife Missy and his entertaining mother April, and Bam actually gets stopped from doing the worst of his work. If he does go through with something that would make Jesus cry, Missy makes him pay for it any way she can. And best of all: unlike the other marriage reality shows on MTV (Newlyweds, Till Death Do Us Part, and that unwatchable Travis Barker/Hooker Wife show), Missy and Bam are very clearly in love. It's no reality sham for money, there is actual chemistry here that makes it seem like Bam may actually be a human being and not just a worthless meat puppet also-ran skateboarder.

Hopefully, for once (please?), MTV won't destroy every ounce of goodwill I have towards a show by running into the ground with way too many seasons that try to recreate what was enjoyable about the first (cough Real World cough).

Review: The Notorious Bettie Page (2006)

I was not entirely sure what I would think of this film when I watched it today. It's been on my to see list since I read rave reviews of Gretchen Mol's titular performance, but I also read that the film wasn't nearly as good as her performance.

After watching it, I believe I might need to revisit the Sketchy's, because this is certainly one of the best made films of 2006. The film is a biopic of former pin-up queen Betty Page, focusing on her photographic and film work as a gateway into her actual personality and beliefs.

The technical film making is spot on: the various qualities of black and white/color film stock capture the actual passing of time in the film in a realistic way, while adding a visual interest many biopics neglect in favor of superficial analysis. The most interesting visual trick is showing the actual covers of magazines Bettie appeared on with Gretchen Mol posing as if the shoot were happening live. The direction is spot on and I am eager to see more work from Mary Harron (of American Psycho and I Shot Andy Warhol Fame). If she keeps choosing smart projects like these, she will certainly become a force to be reckoned with in film.

The performances are terrific, especially Gretchen Mol as Bettie and Lili Taylor as Paula Klaw - a photographer who shot most of Bettie's work. Mol captures the purity and innocence of Bettie with great ease, while Taylor pulls off a funny - yet caring - money loving business woman to perfection.

The film is great, but be forewarned: there is a whole lot of nudity and bondage in the film - tastefully executed, but there none the less. If this makes you uncomfortable, I probably wouldn't recommend seeing it. But for those that can handle the content, The Notorious Bettie Page is a surprisingly uplifting, inspiring tale of a woman who wanted to live her life the best way she knew how, no matter what.

Review: Reno 911: Miami

Thanks to some connections I have, I was able to get a free pass to the CMJ music festival last Fall and it was one of the best experiences of my life. This is where I was able to learn about Bodog Music (you really can't go wrong with their roster, plus Bif Naked works with them, and she is awesome) and see a screening of Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (I'll add a review of that eventually, here's a preview: easily one of the best films of 2006 and incredibly moving).

One of the unannounced events I wound up attending was a midnight screening of Reno 911: Miami and I wound up being kind of underwhelmed. It just felt awkward: the editing was strange, there were some really unfunny bits, and some dialogue was just lost due to quality.

So I was pleasantly surprised when I took my brother to the movies today and saw this again. The film, based on the hit show, has the Reno 911 Sheriff Department invited to Miami for a police convention, only to be denied entrance, which turns out to be a blessing when the Reno 911 officers are the only police who can still work in the city. All of the regulars are there plus some of the best of the other featured actors (including Dave Holmes, aka former MTV VJ and host of Say Whay? Karaoke who famously lost Wanna Be a VJ to Jesse Camp).

The film is a thousand times better than when I saw it. It has been mercifully edited down by at least 15 minutes, entire scenes appear to have been re-shot, dialogue was dubbed over, and many unnecessary scenes were replaced with comedy gold. If you've seen the show, you know what you're getting into.

For those who haven't: there will be a whole series of vignettes with different combinations of officers in a Cops styled show travelling around Miami in various hilarious situations.

All I can say is this film should not disappoint the fans, now that it has been edited to actually be a film.

Review: Mark Twang

Ok, I am not going to sugar coat this. I cried a lot on Thursday night because of American Idol. Quite possibly, as far as I'm concerned, the only actual musician who ever made the semifinals (a few had come close before, but were cut just short of making it) Leslie Hunt was sent home. Considering the love-hate thing I had (past tense, people) going on with my on again/off again reality TV viewing relationship with American Idol (we had been on rocky grounds since that whole Frenchie Davis bs - people, she told them about the photos, they knew they existed, they just did not want her on the show, and frankly - she's better off), Leslie was the one thing that kept me tied to this season at all. My back-up contestant, AJ, was also sent home, and he was the only guy that was even close to being record contract ready on the show.

So where does that leave us? I'm seriously (for true this time) not watching Idol for the rest of the season. I will most definitely never audition again for the show (not that Nigel would ever let me get TV time, 0 in 2 there, heh). And, I probably won't tune in ever again, depending on how poorly they treat the contestants this season. However, if they do get the songwriting contest together (recap: AI is allegedly holding a contest for an undiscovered songwriter to write the winner's first single, but they are still hammering out the kinks six months after the announcement) I will enter that, because I know I can write a pretty kick-ass song about unicorns, puppies, rainbows, and reaching for the stars.

And what does all of this have to do with this review? Mark Twang is Leslie Hunt's band, and they kick major ass. Check out the Myspace to hear what I'm judging them on. Every song is a great mix of folk and jazz, the perfect showcase for Leslie's bluesy alto. I'm personally a fan of the song 4 Blond Bitches, but that might just because the band named a song 4 Blond Bitches. The music is awesome, and I'm hoping Leslie can use the one possible advantage of AI - TV Time - to get a nice distribution deal for Mark Twang so they can start touring nation wide. I know I want to see them live, where I will wear my "America Don't Care for Jazz" t-shirt and smile the whole time like a total goofball - not that I've ever done that before (shut-up, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, you don't even know who I am, how dare you judge me for smiling like a total goofball and being the most awkwardly white person in the world trying to groove to your music last spring, not cool Karen O, not cool - still love you, though).

What do you mean you found my AI concert tickets, board game, DVD, video game, other video game, that other video game, and home made Idol merchandise in the trash can outside my house?

No comment.

Check out Leslie:

Bitch is out of her damn mind, and I lover her for it.

Call me!

Review: Chiller, New Horror Network

I wanted to make sure I really sampled this new satellite station before reviewing it, and I've come to the appropriate conclusion:

This is my new favorite channel on TV (until there's the ANTM TV, then all bets are off). Any station that airs Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Night Gallery, Friday the 13th: The Series, Twin Peaks, Monster (it has it's moments, but not the greatest), and starting next week Freddy's Nightmares, plus plenty of horror films (including Abbot and Costello Meet the Mummy - the only of those films I have not seen before).

It's not perfect, but it's as close to perfect as any network launch I've ever seen. The commercials are either for Chiller itself or a few smaller ads that don't bug too much. There is editing to account for 30/60 minute formats of the modern age (most apparent in Hitchcock, but those were 27 + minute episodes aired when there was just the intro and closer commercials, so naturally there would be cuts).

All I'm waiting for is some original programming to hit the station. A reality show would be great (Brain Blast!: The Blair Witch Project meets The Amazing Race: Teams of three race around scary locations all over the world to complete challenges, one team killed off (not really, but that would be the gimick, like on Monster House with the gallows) each challenge; I should send a letter, that's brilliant).

This is run by the same company that made Sci-Fi, and so far it seems to have improved tenfold over the Sci-Fi launch. Hopefully they won't start making awful awful movies every week (actually, awful horror films are far more enjoyable than awful Sci-Fi, so write away, Chiller).

Review: Gremlins (1984)

I was a little surprised to realize while rummaging through the $10 bins at a local CD store that I had never seen the film Gremlins. Yet I have had a lifelong obsession with Gizmo. So, I figured when I couldn't sleep today, I'd pop this into my laptop and have some fun. I mean, with a character that cute, it can't be that scary, right?

Wrong. This is one of the most warped, disturbing, twisted, subversive horror films I have ever seen. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. And that's a good thing.

I turned the film off maybe five minutes ago now and I am still filled with a strong feeling of complete and utter dread. Those gremlins were horrifying, especially that nasty Stripe. But they were also hilarious. But scary. But funny. But cute. But ugly.

The acting isn't spectacular, but it is very realistic. I will say the only way I can describe lead actor Zach Galligan in this film is milk. He was so wholesome and filled with teeth, you couldn't help but just want to invite him in for some hot cocoa and fresh baked cookies.

One thing that actually shocks me about this film: How did it not get nominated for Best Effects, Visual Effects at the Oscars? Never in my life have I been more impressed with the effects in a film as with Gremlins. Never. Am I really supposed to believe that the Academy thought Ghost Busters and an Indiana Jones film had better effects? And what of the gloriously twisted, funny, and terrifying screenplay? I mean, Beverly Hills Cop and Splash were nominated that year, so it certainly wasn't for a lack of serious content.

But I'm just splitting hairs. This film is ridiculous and incredible in every way possible, chilling and hilarious like so many films fail at with even more effort put into achieving that effect, and that voice over ending is quite possibly the most disturbing thing I have ever heard in a film. Chris Columbus is one sick fuck.

Take a look for yourself:

Review: The Sarah Silverman Program

Sorry for such a late update today, I genuinely haven't been feeling well (I blame Sandra Lee, that was the one variable in my regular life) so I've been sleeping almost all day. I guess I'll have to wait till tomorrow to review the movie Gremlins (how I never saw this I'm not sure) and Chiller (both the network AND the film).

So, I have my new must-see viewing show, and it's not even a reality show or animated.

The Sarah Silverman Program isn't just for fans of Sarah Silverman. As much as I like her material, the closest I've come to actually seeing her material is the film Jesus is Magic, and I was more a fan of her delivery than anything else. The late night sitcom format is a perfect showcase for her material, music, and acting ability. The casting of the show is great, and the writing is strong enough to stand out but still stays true to the sitcoms that came before it.

This isn't a show for everyone. Sarah Silverman takes a push-button topic, like AIDS, and keeps twisting and twisting it for humor until you just can't stop yourself from laughing.

I will say that I know plenty of people who have fallen in love with the show who also enjoyed Strangers With Candy. It's that style of humor, but feels more like a traditional sitcom.

While this wasn't on the show, I leave you with my all time favorite moment of Sarah Silverman appearances: The Aristocrats. Not safe for work. Not safe by a long shot.

Review: Robbie Williams Album Rudebox

It was a sad day when I found out that Robbie Williams was going into rehab, partly because people didn't quite take to his latest release. Robbie has been a huge influence on my development as a musician, and his album Rudebox shows just why that is.

Rudebox is not the easiest album to get into - not by a long shot. Everything seems to be based in electronic loops of unnatural sounding representations of real instruments. Robbie also seems to favor his almost-rap style evidenced in one of my favorite disturbing videos, Rock DJ. TrentSketch Safety Tip: This video is supposed to be funny. It's not smut, it's not vulgar, and it's certainly not an exploitation horror film. It is gory, so it's not for the faint of heart. Also, not safe for work.

But Robbie knows how to pull together super catchy songs that get stuck in your head for days. My favorite track on the album is easily the catchy, kind-of angry Viva Life on Mars. It's so kitschy and catchy and just plain enjoyable. It's also the most traditional sounding song on the entire album.

If there is a weak spot in the record, it is the longer, back-to-back decade songs (1980's and 1990's). They seem too similar and sort of mismatched to what comes before and after them.

Overall, it's a strong album, but not one that I would pay the suggested 18.95 price tag for. Save yourself the cash and download it on iTunes.

Get well soon Robbie.

The Top 5 Music Videos You Have Never Seen (Released After 2000)

I am a huge fan of the music video. I long for those nights where I just can't sleep, so I curl up in front of my TV and watch music videos until the sun comes up. Because of this habit, I have seen music videos some people may not even think really exist. This list is by no means exhaustive, even with the stipulation of the videos being released after 2000. It's a good starting point for recent forgotten music videos.

Number 5: Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap
Even with her recent Grammy nominations, Imogen Heap is not a household name, and she probably never will be. The most recognition she received was through the use of her song Hide and Seek on the TV show The OC, but even then, people learned the song and not her name. The music video is equally as impressive as the rich tapestry of layered vocals she created for the song with her keyboard and a vocoder. Instead of the standard wide screen format, the camera is turned ninety degrees, meaning the video is seen in a tiny vertical sliver on the screen. The visuals are simple: Imogen in a plain room with simple costume, lighting, and effect changes with her just singing her song. It's beautiful in its simplicity, and a perfect match for this rich musical experience.



Number 4: Gimme by Jill Scott
If I had to pick one artist who truly came into their own since 2000 that will still be relevant twenty years from now, it would be Jill Scott. Her second album, 826+, was a double disc album, featuring one CD of a live concert and another CD of newly released tracks that somehow didn't make it onto Who is Jill Scott: Words and Sounds, Vol. 1. The one single used to promote the release was Gimme, a mid-tempo jam about the joys of being in a strong, sexually fueled relationship. In the video, Jill Scott plays Dr. Love, who brings joy and happiness to all the patients in her hospital with her trust nurses Hugs and Kisses. In the end, everyone feels so great and filled with love that they all dance together. This video is great for two reasons: 1) it shows just how talented Jill Scott is while allowing her to show that she doesn't take herself too seriously; 2) it adds an entire new level of context to the song. Any video that can realistically expand and improve upon the song by adding more complexity to it is a great music video.

Watch on Yahoo! Launch

Number 3: Natural Blues by Moby
This music video, more than any other, truly represents Moby's career. He is best known for his brilliant business sense, linking his songs to international ad campaigns with few people ever learning his name. This somber video shows Moby as an old man - a showcase of some of the best make-up since Michael Jackson's video Thriller - looking back on his achievements at the end of his life while wasting away in a nursing home. Eventually, Cristina Ricci appears as a dancing angel of mercy to end Moby's suffering and bring him new life. This video is so beautiful and so sad that I can't help but cry every time I see it. Leave it to Moby to create a brilliant statement on the fleeting nature of fame and everyone's inevitable end without anybody truly realizing what he is doing.


Number 2: Time and Time Again by Chronic Future
What? An anti-war video that doesn't blame the Bush administration for everyone's problems? Yes, Chronic Future's animated video for Time and Time Again is commentary on what can happen when people choose to fight in a war for reasons other than a true desire to defend their nation. Equally sad and infuriating, Chronic Future used simple, computer generated cut-out animation to make a statement that says far more in three and a half minutes than all the angry words a musician could ever say about war could ever achieve.



Number 1: Pagan Poetry by Bjork
This is a controversial video. It wasn't seen by many because it features brief glimpses of suggestive (and full) nudity. It wasn't aired by most because of the extremely disturbing physical content. The video to Bjork's greatest song - and my favorite song of all time (previously Gretchen am Spinnrade by Franz Schubert - has Bjork stitching strands of pearls into her skin with a needle. The sexual nature is suggested, not explicit, and the graphic content is artistic, not vulgar. This video may be hard to watch, but it is a perfect match to a deeply personal and passionate song. It easily belongs up on a wall in an art gallery as part of a digital display of film making.

Review: Imogen Heap Album "Speak For Yourself"

I'll say it right now: I love Imogen Heap. I think she is an incredibly talented musician who, even after being nominated at the Grammy Awards, is extremely under appreciated by music fans. Her songs are solid and her use of electronic music technology is breathtaking. This talented artist is a true one-woman band who doesn't have to rely on tricks and gimmicks to stand out. Her crazy personality and talent work just fine.

So when Imogen Heap started her own record label to release her solo album "Speak for Yourself", I figured she might get some good reviews in the US, but might not even receive US distribution. But when RCA Victor picked up the rights to distribute in the US, I knew something big was going to happen.

Fast forward to Imogen Heap, dressed like a background performer in the Calista Flockhart version of A Midsummer Night's Dream on Grammy night losing Best New Artist to the far more well known and commercial Carrie Underwood. More surprisingly, Imogen Heap was the only Best New Artist nominee NOT to perform at the Grammys. Though, interesting sidenote, a friend of mine who works for Atlantic Records told me how the head of the label had to call and bitch every day to NARAS to get James Blunt a performance slot for the show, so at least Imogen wasn't supposed to be alone. But what can a self-run artist do to get that kind of respect in the industry?

Release an incredible album. "Speak for Yourself" is an underrated masterpiece, filled with great song after great song. All of her music incorporates catchy repeated keyboard patterns with nice touches of other instrumentation and creative use of vocals and wordplay. The crowning achievement, of course, is the show-stopping track "Hide and Seek". Imogen takes the traditionally used for effect only Vocoder and, with the help of her trusty keyboard, creates a musical landscape of layered vocals that could make a grown man cry.

This CD is routinely available, even after the Grammys, in the discount bin at stores. It's more than worth it to invest your time and money in will undoubtedly be one of the most listened to albums in your collection.

Review: Hard Candy DVD

I've been toying and taunting with you all for more than a day and the overly awaited event is finally here.

Introducing, the weekly Video Blog.

I wanted to start off really artistic with a cool concept, so I present to you:

Hard Candy DVD: A Silent Film Review

Enjoy.



PS: I will speak in future reviews. This silent acting thing was hard.

PPS: Theme Music available at the official Trent Sketch musical Myspace.

PPPS: Join the YouTube video group and let me know what you think. Awesome one stop shopping for videos of almost every reference I make. You can add your own videos to suggest what I should review next. Or post your own reviews.

I'll stop whoring myself out now.

For now.