Suspended Indefinitely

That's right, I'm closing shop here. I was never a huge fan of the interface anyway.

By next Wednesday, this account will be deleted. Fun while it lasted, but a failed target.

Be sure to switch over to my new, much more attractive, capable of keeping up with my creativity website over here.

Suspending Blog

Listen. I'm sorry to the 12 people that have been coming to the blog regularly, but something doesn't quite feel right about it to me right now. I know the Internet can be a fickle medium, but in using various tracking systems since relaunching the blog I've seen some pretty ridiculous patterns of inconsistency in how people are responding to this project so far.

I'll probably continue what I have been doing here on a yet to be opened Live Journal blog that will also go a bit more into my personal life, but for right now: TrentSketch Reviews is suspended. Stopped. Halted. Paused. Immobile.

When I come back, it will be a big push. Be ready.

Review: As Told By Ginger

This post is inspired by the wonderful people at Television Without Pity, without who I would forget to write about under appreciated shows like Nickelodeon's short lived As Told By Ginger.

What happens when a show on Nickelodeon decides to tackle more adult themes than farts are funny? We've seen it happen with Doug, Hey Arnold, Invader Zim, The Wild Thornberries, and As Told By Ginger. Nick cancels it, rarely re-airs it, and (with the exception of Invader Zim, which can only be explained by Jhonen Vasquez somehow stealing the rights to the show back from Nick) never release the series on DVD.

As Told By Ginger, for those who were not among the 12 people to watch it regularly, was the story of tween Ginger, an aspiring writer, trying to get by as best as she could in the difficult social climate of a new school for her final year of middle school. Tackling issues as light hearted as school rivalries and perfect birthday gifts to seldom seen in animation topics such as death, interracial romance, intelligence, class struggles, and single-parent households, Ginger was more advanced than a Nick show should be.

With intelligent dialogue, a realistic and consistent style of simple animation, and a theme song from Macy Gray, Ginger attempted to provide well thought out entertainment to the Nickelodeon watching masses and failed with everyone but fellow writers, critics, and awards bodies.

I guess what it comes down to is this: if you see Ginger on television some time, watch for a few minutes. It's not a show for everyone, but if you can get into it, you'll understand why the show still has a loyal group of fans that aren't all preteen girls with self-esteem issues.

This show is so under appreciated, I can't even locate an episode or clips from an episode that would make you all fall in love. I can't even embed or link to the opening theme, and I don't have any equipment with me to pull up clips myself right now.

Instead, I'll link to my new online store from Mintd.

I actually prefer it to Etsy, since there are no listing fees and you can post three items for free, but you could, say, call a listing Bags and post every bag you have as a different "color" or "size" variation. It's a good thing.

Not a Review: What is this Urge I Feel

I have the strangest urge today.

I have an unnatural desire to go outside and just bask in the sunlight and warmth of a beautiful NYC spring day.

What the hell is wrong with me? I should be holed up inside a darkened room still covered in sun screen (lest I get any color) listening to songs filled with euphemisms about ninja teddy bears or films with chronic kool-aid syndrome (so much blood they had to thin it out with water, hence a kool-aid looking spurt).

Shame on me. For shame.

Review: Masters of Horror Episode "Sick Girl" by Lucky McKee

Hmm...I don't think I've previously mentioned my obsession with the work of director/screenwriter/actor Lucky McKee yet. One, I know his cousin, and thanks to knowing his film May, did very well in a forensics tournament once upon a time. Two, May is one of the best horror films of the last ten years, deftly combining black humor, wonderful realistic characters, and a twisted concept to a simultaneously sympathetic and horrifying conclusion. Three, he got screwed over big time with his film The Woods, once thought to be strong enough to demand that M. Night Shymalan rename his then titled The Woods to The Village, only to shelve the film for the better part of, about, two years and then release it straight to DVD, stripping it of all special features the week before it's release and it's still better than most of the crap films out there. Four, he stepped in at the last minute to direct what is still my favorite episode of Showtime's Masters of Horror series Sick Girl.

Sick Girl tells the story of entomologist Ida Teeter (the always wonderful and lovely Angela Bettis) who receives a strange specimen from a professor in Brazil. She eventually has Misty Falls (horror queen Misty Mundane, aka Erin Brown as credited here), a talented young artist, move in to her apartment, and all hell breaks lose.

A twisted horror comedy (what else) of a lesbian romance turned wrong at every step, the dialogue will have you laugh till you cry, while the practical effects and gore will have you cringe. The screenplay is intelligent, witty, and utterly disturbing, and McKee shows off his ability to pull out fantastic performances from his actors through understanding and collaboration that has endeared him to repeat contributors, like Angela Bettis. The true break out performer in this is Erin Brown, who is known in some circles more for her sex appeal than her acting ability. Erin fills Misty Falls with a sort of vulnerability and innocence that truly makes her turn for the worse all the more effective. Plus, she was very kind to me when I met her last year and even signed an autograph for my brother's friend who kind of has a huge crush on her (well, her work anyway).

If you are on the fence about which episode of Masters of Horror to pick up, I would personally say there are two strong choices. If you want straight horror with only a bit of dark humor, go with Cigarette Burns from John Carpenter. If you want dark humor with a nice bit of horror, go with Sick Girl.



Oh yeah, it also has Patricia Clarkson, another repeat contributor to the work of McKee. Told you he's popular.

Review: Music Video Bjork "Earth Intruders"

So today was spent making more inventory for my ever expanding online shop through etsy (clicky clicky), and I am exhausted. My sewing/crafting/art station is set up like a workbench, meaning no chair to sit at while sewing/crafting/art-ing, meaning I stand up the whole time, meaning I was on my feet for six+ hours today since I refuse to use a pattern for anything I work on. Takes out a huge portion of the creativity and personality of the work. I would rather free form a design that I'm proud of than create cookie cutter perfect inventory for a website that claims to sell handmade work any day.

So, sorry for posting ANOTHER Bjork review, but the video was leaked today and it is beyond awesome.

Imagine, if you will, that wonderful sequence in Disney's Fantasia where all the pilgrims are travelling along the forest and hills during the Ava Maria. Take that style of overlayed animation, only execute it with dancers in costuming that wouldn't be out of place in Disney's Animal Kingdom. Now turn that into a 2-D cut out shadowbox style animation over an ever changing background. Make sure the choreography follows not the rhythm of the song, but the patterns and movements of the backing instruments. Now, add in Bjork's gigantic head as the face of the Earth, some lasers destroying the immediate environment, and Bjork's crazy music and you have some very bizarre, yet wonderfully delightful art.

Suddenly, I have a strange urge to see Bjork direct Disney's The Lion King.

Review: Music Video "Lip Gloss" by Lil Mama

Gather round, my children, and let me tell you a tale.

Seriously, I feel like I would be betraying ya'll's trust if I did not let you know at the onset about what will surely blow up to be the huge novelty jam of summer 2007.

Meet Lil Mama: a sassy tone deaf rapper with an affinity for over the top choreographed "retarded" (I seriously remember an MTV news segment on a whole lot of teenagers who liked to get retarded, meaning dance around like damn fools in some weird amalgam of hip hop, krump, demonic possession-like movements, and straight up stupidity) dancing. She will never have another hit song on her own again, so she better stretch what little fame she will achieve and save her dollars for the good stuff (MAC cosmetics at Macy's...duh).

In a video that seemed more fit to be a plot point (or wrap up point) in a Christopher Guest movie, our protagonist is dropped off at school by her mother, only to be given a last minute gift: a silver bracelet/locket filled with magically, poppin lip gloss that makes everyone want to be her friend. As she merrily dances her way through the school day, Lil Mama picks up more and more friends until she has to admit in the end to her mother that that lip gloss really is poppin.

It's as awful as it sounds: enjoy.

Not a Review: Check Out my Etsy Shop

What the hell's an Etsy shop and why should I care?

Etsy is the web's premiere location for crafters and artists to sell their original handmade work to a worldwide audience. The money goes directly to the crafter/artist after a 20 cent listing fee directly to Etsy.

My shop is Secret Linings. Buy something.

Mini Review: High (Haute) Tension Film

I'm am so tired it's not even funny. I worked moving food, decorations, props, sets, costumes, make-up, cars, and cartons from 6:00 AM till 4:00 PM today for the Shakespeare festival my play was performed at, and I didn't even get to fucking see it. However, all of my former English teachers saw me and made the connection that only TrentSketch is crazy enough to come up with such a warped version of Shakespeare. They loved it and requested I do Othello next (which I will...eventually) and told me I should pursue playwriting. How quickly they forget the quality of my writing. I've been making English teacher's jaws drop with sentence structure, phrasing, and creativity since I was in kindergarten.

I literally just woke up maybe 20 minutes ago (it's 11:30 PM now) so here's a mini review of High Tension, one of the best slasher films of the decade:

One of the most inventive and refreshing slasher films in recent memory. The play on gender, sexuality, and mental dynamics in friendships (and more) was written to perfection. Cecil de France was wonderful as Marie, and the supporting cast was strong as well. Nice balance of gore and suspense, plus I actually loved the ending.

A strong 8/10.

Not a Review: Oh dear I spoke too soon...

Remember how I themed yesterday the good, the bad, and the ugly? Well, turns out my short play is the ugly.

Everyone who has read (or read from) the actual script thinks it is pretty funny. What those kids did to my script is kind of disgraceful.

The two ringleaders have the comedic writing abilities of a young Ryan Seacrest (which is to say none). They rewrote, for those of you who read it, the initial motorcycle mention, expanding it to such a point that the last second call back in the finale didn't even get a chuckle, not even a groan. It came off as far more self-indulgent and too clever/cute for its own good. They also expanded the knock out time from three days to three weeks, since they thought three days was unrealistic (and everything else was a mirror image of real life: Shakespeare is known for his anachronisms and horrific, fantastic impossibilities, they lend charm to his scripts; I ain't saying I'm the next Shakespeare, but I did pay tribute to much of his writing style). They also refused to do the Nurse sequence deathly straight as I advised them (so over the top soap opera-ish it's piss your pants funny) even though that's how they played every other scene.

I'm a mess.

New review later tonight.

Review: Nine Inch Nails "Year Zero"

I've mentioned my unwavering love of all things crazy and Bjork on this thread before, but I think Trent Reznor just one-upped her most successful musical experiment: Medulla.

No, the new Nine Inch Nails album "Year Zero" is not almost entirely ac capella (I wish, cause that would just be a dream), but it does try to push the boundaries of the music industry by taking apart the traditional thought process behind music and creating something that is both true to the earliest stages of music and completely out of this world/futuristic (take that Justin Timberlake).

The album is a sonic explosion of dissonance and loud electronic sequenced rock, and the overall feel and campaign of the record is incredible. Let me just pull up a quick screen grab of the flyer stuck to the back of the album to continue their year zero theme:


When Trent is in his full on sexy rocker mode, he made me contemplate whether or not I could ever love a man in that way (the track in question is Track 4, The Good Soldier, which is (not) surprisingly about sex). However, when the political discourse takes center stage (tracks 6-7 (Me, I'm Not and Capital G)), the album suffers. Me, I'm Not had an interesting enough production/arrangement behind it to be bearable, but Track 7 made me wish for the dulcet tones of Britney Spears "Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman Either", and I hate that song.

The best part of the album to me is the incredible campaign surrounding it, which is fully followed up with the environmentally friendly tri-fold paper based CD packaging, though the album does still contain a fully plastic (and harder to remove the disc from than usual) CD holder that kind of cancels out the environmental good will.

TrentSketch Safety Tip: Remove the CD booklet from the outside edge of the case, not the inside, otherwise you will rip and destroy your cardboard case.

Get this album. It's that good. Hopefully, the Grammys will reward NIN's efforts with an album of the year nomination (hey, they like the White Stripes, why not NIN). It's already guaranteed another victory in Alternative album (over Bjork...sigh, my girl just can't catch a break there).

Buy it. Now.

Review: Avril Lavigne's The Best Damn Thing

The huge risk an artist runs when they label their album The Best Damn Thing is having it be a complete and utter mess. Avril Lavigne took that risk, and has failed miserably.

I have been a long term Lavigne sympathizer. When I heard "Complicated" for the first time on MTV, I thought the girl had the potential to be an edgier Mandy Moore, and her second album showed a level of sophistication far surpassing her peers.

But apparently she was too punk rock for quality.

The new album has a whole lot of Gwen Stefani-esque chanting (not even good chanting like Hollaback Girl, more like Wind it Up chanting) without any of the charm. It features over the top ridiculously heart felt goth-tinged lyrics like Dashboard Confessional without any of the levity, heart, or self-deprication of Chris Carraba. And it features the musical stylings of a Blink 182 coverband led by a former Real Worlder too fat and whorish to appear on the challenges.

I wanted to believe that maybe there would be a good track or two on the album, but there really isn't. Her first single, Girlfriend, is the only decent track on the album, and I use decent in a very generous way here.

Avril Lavigne has completely lost me with her effort-filled screamo...that isn't supposed to be screamo.

Not a Review: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

WTH? You aren't doing another review yet? I hate you Trent Sketch.

I hate myself too, I know. But I do have a little mini theme day.

I will be experiencing three pop culture phenomenon today:

The new NIN album: a guide to creating an engaging and newsworthy marketing campaign without betraying your image.

The new Avril Lavigne album: an exercise in how far I can take an artist's awful, immature antics.

The final rehearsal of a short play I was commissioned (without pay) to write for a high school theater troupe: an exercise in patience as I've been told by my friend that they changed a "few things" like punchlines, cast list, characters, actors, costumes, songs, and more. If my favorite bit in the entire play is missing, I will be pissed. Some stank ho will have beer poured in their weave, is all I'm saying.

So one of these is clearly good (NIN...duh), my short play is supposed to be so bad it's good (it's a farce of a parody of a Disney channel original idea for goodness sake), and Avril Lavigne's album is just ugly.

Reviews of the NIN and Lavigne albums coming later today (here's a sneak preview: NIN kicks so much ass on this album it's not even funny, Avril Lavigne suddenly thinks she's Blink 182 B-sides never released in America as covered by New Found Glory after 2001 when the lead singer's voice kind of gave out on him) as well as an investigation into why God hates me as explained by the results of that rehearsal.

Here's a link to the full script as it should be performed, and yes, with heavy edits to the Disney aspects and more over the topness, it will become a screenplay, cause there genuinely is some good stuff here for a funny crime thriller (at least it's not an environmentally aware horror film, right? (you need to be logged in to see it, but yes, that is for real, and I will be making that environmentally aware horror film, even though the premise is a little shady (rim-shot)).

Tip your waiters, lest they wind up being contestants on some B-Rate reality show like The Search for the Next Pussy Cat Doll.

Not a Review: I hate rain

Not really. I normally enjoy a good rainy day. But this rain storm that hit the northeast left me stranded in NJ, which meant that I had to miss out on an audition and an invitation to do some back up vocals for a friend's band tonight (a few months ago he pulled me up on stage and made me sing for him on his band's cover of "Steady As She Goes" by the Raconteurs and has been trying to get me on stage again ever since).

I'll bang out a review tomorrow. Right now I need some sleep.

But I will leave you with a video that, while I'm sure you've already watched it, always leaves a smile on my face:

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!!!
Uploaded by nattyakagenius2

And one more clip for good measure (Two actually, my single favorite episode of Naruto from the Chunin exam arc, you really don't need to know the show at all to enjoy it):

Review: Website Craftster.org

Ok, this seems like a strange review topic, but it fits within the scope of the site.

Craftster.org is an online community for crafty people who think outside the box. Just looking at the homepage gives an indication of the kind of things you are getting yourself into by joining these forums:


The featured projects include: a clock made with artist trading cards (3X5 one of a kind art cards designed by the artist as an informal exchange with other artists they meet, it's cool), a mirror built with panels of wood covered in soda can labels, amiguri (Japanese-styled crocheted stuffed toys) food, a jacket hand embroidered with many many images of people, a sewing machine made from felt, and a bizarre (yet strangely adorable) looking kitten covered in long shaggy red fur.

The site is ridiculously awesome. There are craft challenges going on all the time where you compete against other site members for, what else, crafty supplies and paraphernalia (like the currently ongoing felted inanimate object challenge, clothing from your favorite time period challenge, or stenciled tattoo art challenge, among many others). But that is not the main draw of the site by a long shot.

Many people feel that hobbies like knitting, sewing, embroidery, and glass working are all boring, stale, outdated or for old people, but it's simply not the case. Crafster.org is an encouraging community for the artist in all of us.

So pick up some popsicle sticks and don't you dare use them to to merely build a birdhouse roof (not that I'm censoring you, but wouldn't a bird-mansion be a far more rewarding project constructed entirely out of hand stained popsicle sticks including columns, windows, doorways, and maybe even a stairwell or chimney be far cooler and more rewarding? like a southern palatial manner only for birds? come to think of it, I do have some popsicle sticks upstairs...) and join in on the fun. You can even check out my post with no replies in the Halloween section, which clearly happened because people were intimidated by its total awesomeness.

Review: Shear Genius

I'll get it right out of the way: this show is incredible. It is filled with some of the most ridiculous characters to ever appear on reality TV, including one entertaining fellow who goes by the name Dr. Boogie (I'm not kidding). My favorite contestant, Paul-Jean (aka pretencious may or may not be from the south of France judging by the accuracy of his English grammar but was so damn cocky, confident, and charming you couldn't help but fall in love with him (oh, did I mention he was a foreign person on a Bravo Reality show? That never works out too well)) was already kicked off for subjecting a poor girl to this monstrosity, but what do you expect when the contestants are literally told to go shop in Michaels Arts and Crafts store and make hair art? It's just a shame that they did not cast a weavologist this season, but maybe Saphyrii (from Flavor of Love 2 and Charm School) or Top Model's Kathleen (of the fierce piece) can be on next season. That would be good TV.

Basically, it's a very effective blend of Project Runway (with weekly, I kid you not, Hair Shows, and the finale being an extravagant hair show battle the likes of which I haven't seen since Mo'Nique's Hair Show (sadly, I cannot find a video clip online, but if you flip to BET often enough you might catch it (might, as in you will) between airings of Soul Food)) and Top Chef (every week a Short Cut (nice pun, lots of nice puns on this show) challenge will determine order selection for models and pecking rank among the designers). The best part: Jaclyn Smith, of Charlie's Angels and her own line of clothing a K-Mart fame, is inexplicably the host. And she looks simultaneously incredible and awful, thanks to some alleged plastic surgery.

The best part: this guy on the left thinks he's Sweeney Todd. I just wish I could find a photo of him on elimination day.

Not a Review: Got a New Gig

I have to recommend the site RentaCoder.com if you are trying to get some paying freelance writing work. After you sign up, you can put in bids (as in, how much you want to be paid) for various jobs from writing to editing to computer programming to voice overs and more, post your resume, and see if anyone bites. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I'm now going to be writing 25 articles a week for a site based on a list of provided keywords for about 94 dollars a week. Not to bad for some short articles. Check it out if you want some writing work. You could do far worse.

Review: 1985 Cell Phone Makeover Game

I feel like I've been neglecting my duties to review things that don't feature live actors/bitches, and therefore found out about, so help me, a fun little diversion site that just launched.

The 1985 Cell Phone Makeover Game puts you in charge of Dusty, a hopelessly tacky, unfashionable Motorola phone - from 1985. This brick of a phone is given to you, the visitor, to style as you see fit.

With snarky comments and fast one liners, Dusty isn't going to just take his makeover lying down. You can customize the hair, eyes, mouth, hat, shirt, pants, accessories, and background of your own Dusty.

The fun really comes in when you finish customizing. When this site starts to build up, people will be able to view and review your own Dusty's, and you can do the same. You can also send it to a friend or yourself on your phone or post it on your own blog, like this:



Ok, the music is absolutely annoying (maybe they'll add more tracks later on, but the mute button sure is a handy feature for this site) and the options, while good, are not as varied as they could be for a makeover game, but it's still a fun little diversion. These games are always good for a quick bit of fun, a time waster, really. You could do far worse than choose to makeover your own Dusty.

I mean, who doesn't want to clutter up their Myspace with more free junk that you customized yourself? I know I do.

The one thing I do wonder about is what this site is going to get for doing this. Is it a subsidiary project of Motorola? Another phone company mocking Motorola? An accessories dealer? Or are they just making money on advertising sales and per click ads? Probably somewhere in between the first three, and definitely the last.

This review comes courtesy of SponsoredReviews.com, where your integrity always has a price tag (just kidding (but not really)).

Not a Review: Happy Friday the 13th Everyone

I love Friday the 13ths. I don't know how I will celebrate this wonderful, perfectly overcast way, but I know the worst thing I can do: fight my way through NYC to get to the Port Authority and go to scenic New Jersey for the weekend (woo?). I don't know why, but I am absolutely determined to watch some AWFUL horror films today, but don't want to spend the money to go see Disturbia or The Reaping, so it'll be off the Blockbuster for me (or on with less savory means of obtaining films, though I feel like an awful person everytime I stream readily available content in the US over the Internet).

Also, this weekend I will finally get to see the new Bravo Reality TV series: Shear Genius, and everything I've read indicated the title is appropriate. They had a challenge to make fancy dancy hair styles with crafting supplies, for Jebus' sake.

Think I'm joking? Look at them all here. These photos make Tyra Banks' hair look good, people. That ain't right.

Review: Larry King Live as Hosted by Jimmy Kimmel

I've mentioned my almost undying love for Sarah Silverman before, but there has been one sticking point that truly does upset me: she's dating Jimmy Kimmel, and she can easily do so much better. I'm sure it's his fart jokes and beer-buddy status that keeps them together (it ain't his looks), and it certainly isn't his attitude based off of this fiasco.

Someone behind Larry King Live thought it was a brilliant idea to have Jimmy Kimmel fill in one night, and the results are truly disgusting. This review focuses on how Jimmy Kimmel harassed Gawker editor Emily Gould. What follows is what I published as a news story through Associated Content on the incident. And they paid me. Go figure.

Jimmy Kimmel went on the attack against entertainment blogger Emily Gould, refusing to let her say more than one sentence at a time when he filled as host for Larry King Live on April 6.

The show seemed to be going in an innocent enough direction, discussing the extremes paparazzi will go to for their story, and bringing in guests representative of both sides of that debate. Then enter, via satellite feed, Gawker.com editor Emily Gould.

Immediately, one could sense that the mood of the program had changed. Jimmy Kimmel immediately went on the offensive against what is admitted by Gawker to be the most ridiculous feature of their site: the Gawker Stalker.

The Gawker Stalker allows anyone in New York City to report a celebrity sighting, sending in a message describing when and where they saw the celebrity, and how they were behaving. Apparently, a few months prior to the broadcast, Jimmy Kimmel was caught drunk, staggering out of a bar, and being belligerent towards fans trying to obtain an autograph, and Mr. Kimmel did not like the report.

Instead of focusing on the extremes the paparazzi go to for photographs, the five minute segment with Emily Gould was practically a bloodbath. For example, even after Emily Gould mentioned that the site normally took well over a day to post the celebrity sighting, more than enough time for that celebrity to have left, Jimmy Kimmel and his panel of experts insisted that she was lying and that the responses were posted immediately. They claimed that Emily Gould (who is not the founder or creative director of the site, just a paid editor) was looking forward to a lawsuit and was encouraging crazed fans to actually come in and attack celebrities. One expert went so far as to state that many celebrities are assaulted or even murdered each day and the media never mentions it. Kimmel went so far as to accuse Gould of profiting over the pain and suffering of celebrities through advertising, and would even claim that buying ads on a blog is "ridiculous". It is apparent, however, when visiting many popular blogs that Mr. Kimmel himself and his network constantly purchase such advertisements to promote his late night talk show.

Eventually, Jimmy Kimmel would mention his grievance about appearing on the Gawker Stalker, and claim that it was offensive to his family who visited the site. Instead of providing an objective debate on a very current and relevant subject, Jimmy Kimmel used his appearance on Larry King Live as an opportunity to advance his own personal vendetta against the blogosphere and damage the reputation of one well respected author.

While Kimmel may feel that he had the chance to get back at the big bad bloggers, his behavior on the show may have actually hurt his case. As Gould would state on the show, blogs are almost a form of citizen journalism, but like the weekly tabloids at the supermarket, you can't expect a one hundred percent accurate report. People have been given the opportunity and tools to realize that just because a person is on TV does not mean that they are a better human being.

In other words, I hate you Jimmy Kimmel. I hate everything that you and your privacy obsessed celebrity friends stand for. If you are going to make a career out of being in the public eye, then you need to understand that you are going to be in the public eye. The most disgusting thing about this incident, though, is how every other Blogger took this as an opportunity to attack Emily Gould for being a weak person. Which doesn't help. At all.

As Tyra Banks would say: Learn something from this:



And Emily Gould's reply. This is how you handle bullies.